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1,582 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Looks like one of my old wise-ass posts is circulating on the net. I never saved the original but ran across it in slightly modified form today. Hope you get a laugh....

I raced a Harley today and after some really hard riding I managed to PASS the guy. I was riding on one of those really, really twisting sections of canyon road with no straight sections to speak of and where most of the curves have warning signs that say "15 MPH".

I knew if I was going to pass one of those monsters with those big-cubic-inch motors, it would have to be a place like this where handling and rider skill are more important than horsepower alone.

I saw the guy up ahead as I exited one of the turns and knew I could catch him, but it wouldn't be easy. I concentrated on my braking and cornering. three corners later, I was on his fender. Catching him was one thing; passing him would prove to be another.

Two corners later, I pulled up next to him as we sailed down the mountain. I think he was shocked to see me next to him, as I nearly got by him before he could recover. Next corner, same thing. I'd manage to pull up next to him as we started to enter the corners but when we came out he'd get on the throttle and outpower me. His horsepower was almost too much to overcome, but this only made me more determined than ever.

My only hope was to outbrake him. I held off squeezing the lever until the last instant. I kept my nerve while he lost his. In an instant I was by him. Corner after corner, I could hear the roar of his engine as he struggled to keep up. Three more miles to go before the road straightens out and he would pass me for good.

But now I was in the lead and he would no longer hold me back. I stretched out my lead and by the time we reached the bottom of the canyon, he was more than a full corner behind. I could no longer see him in my rear-view mirror.

Once the road did straighten out, it seemed like it took miles before he passed me, but it was probably just a few hundred yards. I was no match for that kind of horsepower, but it was done. In the tightest section of road, where bravery and skill count for more than horsepower and deep pockets, I had passed him. though it was not easy, I had won the race to the bottom of the canyon and I had preserved the proud tradition of another of America's best bikes.

I will always remember that moment. I don't think I've ever pedaled so hard in my life. And some of the credit must go to Schwinn, as well. They really make a great bicycle...

508 Posts
HAHAH Very Funny!!

I remember back in the day when I lived in Hawaii, my friends and I would specifically speed up when we saw hogs.

We'd pass them on the highways at twice their speeds, just to be rude. That was great, even if it was childish.


51 Posts

man you had us all going!!!!! and being duc heads we were all pullin for ya!

85 Posts
Thanks I needed that ... ;.)

Kept busting up tonight, just thinking of it .!
.... I could just visualize the Guy standing with Pride and honor renewed
telling that Story teary eyed and all full of triumph... HA

At first I thought you were a Bone-Head ,
for not being able to drop that Hog like a Sack of crap...

Señor Member
8,779 Posts
My oldest brother is big into Harley's, so much that him and a partner opened a shop where they service them and sell accessories. Every so often I get invited to join him and his hog riding friends for a ride. I like riding at the back of the pack so I can keep passing them then drop back again. One of the guys in his group kept teasing me with "when are you going to get a real bike" meaning a Harley. So one time I asked if he'd like to race for pinks, then I'd get that "real" bike, yeah from him when I beat him.

22 Posts
Harley Bashing Fun

I know that this is old news, but for those who may not have seen it...
Besides it's fun to make fun of Harleys!



At a press conference late Monday, the CEO of Johnson Marine,
makers of Johnson outboard marine engines and other recreational
equipment, unveiled a new line of heavyweight cruiser style
motorcycles designed to compete head to head with industry leader

Peter Long, Johnson brands marketing manager said, "We have studied
the market and determined that Harley, while highly successful,
has narrowly missed the mark when targeting motorcycle buyers". Long
added, "We at Johnson are convinced that our product hits the target
dead center and promises to draw sales away from Harley-Davidson
in a way no other motorcycle has been able to accomplish".

The new line of bikes, marketed under the name Big Johnson
Motorcycles, will, according to Long, deliver what Harley has
only promised. "Our research show that this, a Big Johnson, is
what Harley buyers are really after".

At the unveiling of the new line Monday, several current Harley
owners agreed. "When I bought my Harley, what I really needed was
a Big Johnson," said one Harley owner." But I see now that riding
a Harley is no replacement for having a Big Johnson."

Manager Long also said that his company would follow the lead of
Harley-Davidson and cash in on a huge market for non-motorcycle
related products. "We realize that not every guy can have a Big
Johnson," said Long, "But image is very important to people. If
they don't have a Big Johnson, they at least want to project the
image of having one."

Asked if he anticipated Big Johnsons showing up in the hands of
Harley owners, Long said it was unlikely. "I just don't see the
need to have a Harley if you have a Big Johnson," he said. "And I
can't imagine someone who spends all their resources to acquire
a Harley having a Big Johnson. I think it boils down to this -
You either have a Harley, or you have a Big Johnson, but you
are not likely to have both." "Given the choice," said Long,
"I think most guys will opt for the Big Johnson."

Another force driving sales for the company will come from women. A
survey of the wives and girlfriends of nearly 1,000 potential
motorcycle buyers indicates less than 5% would approve of their
partner spending $15,000 on a Harley Davidson. But, when asked if
they would be willing to pay the same amount of money to get their
partner a Big Johnson, nearly 4 out 5 thought that would be money
well spent.

One female present at the product unveiling was quoted as saying,
"There is no way I will let Lonnie drop 15 grand on another one of
those Harleys, but 15 grand to get him a Big Johnson? Well, that's
something we could both enjoy, and it's something he really needs."

Carla Roundheel, manager of the dealership network now being
established, said her motto is simple. "I service what we sell." Big
Johnson Motorcycles will be traded on the New York stock exchange
under the abbreviation PNSNV.

30 Posts
Well, to be fair...

I don't think any but the most deluded Harley rider considers their bikes to be a performance bike by any stretch. They call them "cruisers" for a reason and if tha's what you like, well good for you. In 30 years of riding I rented a Harley for a 3-day weekend in northern california. Felt like I was driving a bus. I was too poor to have the ducati I wanted but spent the weekend wishing I had the used Katana back in the garage in NH.

I'm more irritated by the idiotic commentary on the various builder bike shows where they say something like "nothing is on this bike that isn't there to make it go faster" or refer to the "fearsome horsepower of the big v-twin" (cue pannning shot of chromed out engine and ominous soundtrack.) I've just got to stop staying up late flicking through the tv channels...

Premium Member
584 Posts
Very funny business. But it reminds me of how little people understand about the difference between torque and horsepower. (I'm not referring to the author of this thread, btw). The huge noise from HD's is almost always associated with a "lot of horsepower" by lay people while all it really means is a big piston and no muffler. They do make a lot of torque (so do farm tractors) and riding that kind of bike is fun to some people -- more power to them (no pun intended). But those big pistons don't move so fast and what makes power is good torque at high rpm. The Vrod motor is the exception. HD was smart and went to Porsche for help in designing the heads with, gasp, 4 valves so they could get some decent volumetric efficiency. So they can do it but those bikes don't sell so well so I guess the typical HD rider doesn't care much about horsepower, more about the sound of power.

3,004 Posts

I posted that one in a forum once and a guy was all exicted about it and wanted me to post a pic of my Big Johnson. I declined, of course.

551 Posts
Nice Job


Thanks for:

1. Having a sense of humor
2. Passing English 101 (very well written...)

Maybe we should have a "Hall of Humor", or "Hall of Fiction"? That'll be the first post...
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