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I have a button.. BITCHES!
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This is true. It happened today.

On Tuesday, I tweaked my back at work. Today, I went to the company doctor to have it documented that the injury happened at work. Just covering the ol backside, if ya know what I mean. I let Dr. Katemaba know, that, my lower right side back hurt, and I was having a burning pain in the front of my upper thigh/groin area. The doctor wanted to check me for a hernia also. This is where it goes bad.

I inform the doctor......that would be Doctor, ELISE Katemba......that's right, a FEMALE doctor.....that at 5:30am as I was getting ready for work, and I realized that all of the laundry was upstairs so I couldn't get to all of my work uniform, that I decided to come to work......um........


Without drawers on.



That's exactly what I said to her. "I aint got no drawers on."



She laughed at me. She's guided me through two shoulder surgeries, and two back issues. She's SUPPOSED to be a pro. She goes "Just pull em down some and hold the zipper flap over your private area."

I go "Psht!" and drop em. I'm standing there with my hands over my privates while DR. KATEMBA pokes all around my groin area. She gets done and informs me that I had no kind of protruding muscular mass (Meaning hernia for all you slow people.) that we'd check my back again in a week.

I thanked her, we chatted about our youngins, and I walked out. I could hear the chuckling before I even left of our little clinic.

I aint going back. It's all true,I swear.
 

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Back when I first joined Ducati.MS, it was to learn more about Ducati's and to find where folks were riding the next weekend. now days it seems like I look for the latest adventures of yours before anything else! I've said it before, I hope you collect all these together and make a book. I'll put in my order for one right now. Jan
 

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eh, i dunno. Ive had a female doctor check out my junk. They are pros, they see that stuff all the time...just whip it out
 

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and shake it around and point it at her.
Don't forget to make the "Whoo! Whoo!" sound when you're shaking it around in circles...:cool:

When I was in college I was rollerblading to class and a USC Grounds truck pulled out of a driveway without looking near the fraternity row. I was on the sidewalk and I went flying over the hood and landed on the curb. Fractured my tailbone. Hurt a bitch...the guy took off instead of helping. Nice, huh? My friend took me to the medical center and they were going to do some X-Rays so I was in one of those frocks or whatever. Sitting on a table on my back with a pillow under my leg and ass area to hold the tailbone area off the table. The nice, pretty nurse was standing there talking to me (this was before I lost all my hearing) and rubbing my leg. I'm thinking to myself, that's not a good idea...trying to think about neutral things like canyon carving, boobs, no not boobs, don't think about those, beaches, bouncing boobs at the volleyball court, no, don't think about that, my dog, the neighbor's dog, the nurses NICE legs, no, no, don't think about that...

Naturally, she spotted the tee-pee, realized I liked her, and smiled. Then she locked the door and started seductively taking off all her clothes...

Ok, so it didn't really happen that way. I just said, "I know, I'm supposed to take you for a drink first." She laughed and showed me her wedding ring. Which reminded me of the ring I was going to be sitting on for the next 6-weeks...the donut ring. No boom-boom for me...:(
 

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I once went and got an STD test at a clinic for peace of mind (didn't wanna go to family doctor. Didn't need a man in his 60's who's known me since I was a kid poking my dick for gonorrhea).

Anyways I went to this fuckin clinic and got some red headed female doctor to do all the tests on me, including the cotton swap up the piss hole.

I saw her 4 hours later at the place I was bartending. I couldn't freakin believe it. Of all the places she could have gone to for a drink after a hard day's STD testing, she had to come to mine.

True story.



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Don't forget to make the "Whoo! Whoo!" sound when you're shaking it around in circles...:cool:

When I was in college I was rollerblading to class and a USC Grounds truck pulled out of a driveway without looking near the fraternity row. I was on the sidewalk and I went flying over the hood and landed on the curb. Fractured my tailbone. Hurt a bitch...the guy took off instead of helping. Nice, huh? My friend took me to the medical center and they were going to do some X-Rays so I was in one of those frocks or whatever. Sitting on a table on my back with a pillow under my leg and ass area to hold the tailbone area off the table. The nice, pretty nurse was standing there talking to me (this was before I lost all my hearing) and rubbing my leg. I'm thinking to myself, that's not a good idea...trying to think about neutral things like canyon carving, boobs, no not boobs, don't think about those, beaches, bouncing boobs at the volleyball court, no, don't think about that, my dog, the neighbor's dog, the nurses NICE legs, no, no, don't think about that...

Naturally, she spotted the tee-pee, realized I liked her, and smiled. Then she locked the door and started seductively taking off all her clothes...

Ok, so it didn't really happen that way. I just said, "I know, I'm supposed to take you for a drink first." She laughed and showed me her wedding ring. Which reminded me of the ring I was going to be sitting on for the next 6-weeks...the donut ring. No boom-boom for me...:(

How did you lose your hearing if you don't mind me asking?



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I have a button.. BITCHES!
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Discussion Starter #10
I once went and got an STD test at a clinic for peace of mind (didn't wanna go to family doctor. Didn't need a man in his 60's who's known me since I was a kid poking my dick for gonorrhea).

Anyways I went to this fuckin clinic and got some red headed female doctor to do all the tests on me, including the cotton swap up the piss hole.

I saw her 4 hours later at the place I was bartending. I couldn't freakin believe it. Of all the places she could have gone to for a drink after a hard day's STD testing, she had to come to mine.

True story.
That's funny. I did the same thing back in the day of playing heavy metal and cavorting with the women. GAH DAWG that swab in the little general is painful! Came back negative.
 

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I have a button.. BITCHES!
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Discussion Starter #11
How did you lose your hearing if you don't mind me asking?
He lost it back when he was about 13 when he found out about......uhhhhhhh.......you know......uh......how do I put this politely.........

.......choking his chicken.


No, wait. That's 'going blind', not loss of hearing.


My bad.:D
 

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My eyesight is perfect...lol

Actually lost it at seven, was able to hear with an aid for awhile, then smashed into a stake (don't ask...lol) playing volleyball at Daytona when I was 18, lost some more, then got hit in the head with a baseball running for 2nd base a few years ago and Bob's your uncle...

Deaf as a post now. But it's cool...now I get to use that excuse of not hearing to just roll over after it's all done and go right to sleep instead of talking all night. Who knew? It's awesome...:D
 

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also why does it feel different when a female doctor is examining your gear? Feels kinda good even if its just lifting, coughing, poking or prodding.
 

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eh, i dunno. Ive had a female doctor check out my junk. They are pros, they see that stuff all the time...just whip it out
Hell, I used to run a lap around the block nude for 50.00 , if somebody was willing to pay.

Of course pride wasn't always one of my affluent attributes either.
 

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True - Is she hot?

Having a hot doctor is probably the worst......





I amend that - A hot doctor with tattooes and no panty lines would be the worst.......
 

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Oh man, could imagine:

metalhead: "I got no drawers on...."

Hot doctor: "Its okay.....neither do I........"


Now, THAT could be embarassing.........
 
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