make sure you are using the correct pin. it should fit tight in the rear axle.
thread the rod into the pin by hand until it stops.
put the rod and pin through the hollow rear axle.
put the plastic washer on the rod and slide it up snug against the axle(nut).
put the metal washer on.
put the wing nut on and thread it all the way up to the washers. hand tight for the wing nut.
put some pressure on the lift arm and hold the seat with you other hand.
slowly push down on the arm and stabilize the bike with the other hand on the seat.
slowly bring the stand to the point where both it's wheels are touching the floor. at this point the bike will be vertical.
slowly and carefully push the lift arm more and the rear wheel will come off the floor.
keep pushing the bar down until the end handle is on the ground.
be careful to not crush your finger between the handle and the floor.
i do think you've jumped the gun here. be patient and it'll come together.

if not pay my way down to ma and i'll fix ya up!!!
you seem like a resonable person who's just frustrated. i also hope you'll come back on here after you figure it out and straighten this mess out. i think you will, and when you do i will pass kudos to you for fessing up. don't worry, the light bulb will turn on!